When people who don't know me well see me (like in the hallway at the boys preschool) they look at me and then look away. It's like there is an elephant in the room and I am the elephant.
Today it was very refreshing when one of the mom's simpy looked at me and said "how are you?" I could tell that she was truly concerned and it wasn't an attempt to make small talk. I told her that I was feeling great, my doctors are thrilled with my progress and very optimistic. She went on to tell me that she has wanted to ask but didn't know what was "appropriate".
Later in the day I received a facebook message from a mom of one of Jax's preschool friends that I haven't talked to in quite a while. She told me that she had debated on whether or not she should send me the message. She told me that she has been reading this blog and my facebook posts and had been praying for me and for our family and that I was in her thoughts daily.
Both instances made me smile today. Ok, I'm not going to lie, I teared up a little too. Good tears though.
I understand that people don't know what to say, afraid they are going to say the wrong thing or ask a question that has an answer that includes bad news. I understand that people want to ask questions but don't want to be intrusive. I even understand that people look at me and think "thank God that isn't me".
I want to just let everyone (you know, the five people who read this blog) that I appreciate every "how are you, you are in my thoughts, I prayed for you" that I hear - it means you care and for that I am grateful.
If you have a question - ask it - you know me, I will be honest and tell you if it is too personal. But asking a question means you care and I would never fault anyone for that.
Even if you don't know what to say - it is ok to say exactly that.
I continue to feel great without taking any pain medication! I still battle fatigue and insomnia (great combination) but I can't really complain because the side effects could be alot worse.
Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for caring about my family.
xoxoxo Jen
I sorta felt that "people look away feeling" U know when.... it is wierd and you almost just wanna wear a sign or say " Ummm hello yes, its true!!!! Im right here i can still see and just saw u look away"
ReplyDeleteJen our circumstances to me knowing THAT feeling are so very different. I honestly cant imagine EXACTLY what you feel EXACTLY but
I do know things like this and my Lijah are forever life changing.
Its a whole new world for YOU, your HUSBAND your KIDS, IM FINDING MYSELF CONSTANTLY HURTING FOR JAX WHEN I SEE SIA PLAYING........
I think back to post or email u once sent me about how you felt while rocking Bodie... cuz of Elijah, You were so open and honest with how your heart wss feeling for me but you just couldn't imagine. Now thats me
BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IM HERE FOR YOU! Just like you were there for me, when i couldn't sleep.
ReplyDeleteIve just been praying that somehow God would please show me HOW to be for you and your family what you were to us.... AN ANCHOR IN AN UNEXPECTED STORM
I TRUELY LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART
*im here waiting forGod to show me what you need, what will bless you, what would mean the most
We want to brighten up Jaxon, Bodie, and Copeland and Makennas day like you used to brighten up Josiahs grey days..... AND I TRUST GODS GONNA SHOW ME. I miss seeing the boys ;) they must be so big and ive often wondered who Makenna looks like and if shes got a "plug" ;)
ReplyDeleteI love you more than words can say,
Marie
P.S weve been praying for your parents and inlaws as well really had your mom on my heart pleade tell her so and your dad too
Now I am tearing up! You are loved and prayed for by many as is your sweet family. We are here for you day or night!
ReplyDelete